The Rand Paul Analogy Academy

Rand Paul is upset that he can't get a super-toilet without government restrictions and fines. He claims he has less choice when it comes to toilets than women have - wait for it - abortions.

The honorable senator from Kentucky seems to have a case of mental constipation. Not to mention lousy indoor plumbing:

It turns out Paul was flushing away decades worth of pent up anger about not being able to own a toilet that gets 'er done in a single flush.

"We have to flush the toilet 10 times before it works," Paul said.